Bangs.

It took two people and 45 minutes, but I got 'em!

Feel free to make fun of my self-portrait. Eyes on the stoplight, eyes on the stoplight.

Because my hair is wavy and thick they cut it in stages and then let it dry a little and then went back and cut some more, etc. They did a good job ... better than my usual home-cuts that result in something like this:

Thulsa Doom

Date night was fab and I have pictures to post. We had so much fun!!! We ran into some friends that we hadn't seen in years and that made it even better. Details to come.

Oh, and I've been feeling the baby for a couple of days. I always feel them so early! :) :) LOVE feeling my baby kick ..... LOVE IT.

The past two days have been so much better than the two before them. I've been working on giving Mazie more room to make her own choices ... admitting that I'm a particular person and like things done a particular way. Mazie is just as particular. (Mini me!) I've taken a step back and it's really helped. I've also been making sure that I take the time to get down on their level and really listen to them. Bah. Just working on refinement of self. These little people deserve so much more than I can ever give them.

Today we walked around Winona for about two hours (I was pushing them in the stroller). I love this town. We met Nate at the Bakafe for a bit which was a perfect addition to our walk. The girls chose a raisin cookie over chocolate chip? Must get that nonsense from Nate. ;)

Tomorrow night Nate and I are going on a date to celebrate his birthday. SO EXCITED. He's using birthday money and we're going to the new Japanese restaurant and then to see Hunger Games. I'm not a big fan of hyped-up book series, etc. but my mom and dad saw the movie (midnight showing because they're cute like that) and my mom said I should see it. Plus, it's Nate's birthday and that's what he wants to watch and since I love him I will go. And I will like it!
Oh, and I've never read Harry Potter. I tried reading the Twilight series but didn't make it very far ... "I'm Edward, a 300 year old vampire man that sparkles in the sun and has a crush on a 16 year old girl". See what I mean? I tried, I really did.

This evening Nate tried explaining to me how England is also the United Kingdom. No comprendo. Does not compute. Geography and I have never gotten along. :/ I'm glad Nate knows where we are.

Last thing, my prayer partner dropped off some brownies that are to die for! I think she was trying to cheer me up since the beginning of my week was so sad. I ate a brownie and I'm really hoping I don't feel like death tomorrow. I've found that I can usually have a little bit of wheat and junk and not feel too bad. I hope I didn't just jinx myself. I'm really touched that she drove over in her jammies to bring me a plate of loving goodness ... what a sweetheart.

Completely random: So ..... they're really good.

Happy birthday to Nate!

The kindest husband.

The sweetest daddy.

Wherever he is ...

 the girls are also.

They follow him around everywhere. <3

Today we surprised him at work with cupcakes and balloons. Mazie ran to his office and opened the door ... while he was in session with a client. WHOOPSY. She was so excited to surprise him! She made a card for him and then wrapped it in a napkin :)

We have a cake and more balloons for him this evening at home!

Both girls like to "vacuum" ... like their Mama :)

I was going to write a post stating the many ... many reasons why we will never be patronizing Golden Corral Hog Trough again but I don't even know where to begin. I need to think about it. In the meantime, do not go there. I mean it.

This morning went well! I felt so blessed and honored to be speaking next to my dear friends while my parents, prayer partner and Nate were in the congregation. I shared some rather personal experiences and what I have learned over the past several years. The feedback was great and God was able to use us to impact many woman and encourage them to be gracious with themselves and others. My friend Beth helped me on Saturday night to sort out what I was going to say and in what way. I am so thankful for her insight.

Nate's confidence in me has been a major catalyst in my changes and I just loved seeing him out in the congregation as I shared what was on my heart. He wants to know me ... the deepest, most secretive parts of me and his Christ-like pursuit of me isn't something I take for granted.

I acknowledge these blessings with humble gratitude.

Cuties

We went out to breakfast as a family this morning. We're going to try to do that at least once of month from now on ... we can eat cheap by splitting meals and drinking water. We cheap.

When I'm pregnant I get something that is like Restless Leg Syndrome ... only it's in my back. Killer! Thankfully I found something homeopathic that I can take that relieves the symptoms. I only mention it because it's starting up as I type this and I need to go take mah pills. 

Good night!

Today we went to Culver's after the girls got their first shots ever. They each got a DTaP (just one shot). The ladies at the clinic were very flexible and non-judgmental about Nate and I's decision to put the girls on a delayed/extended schedule. I appreciated it so much. Anyway, we went to Culver's afterward (my mom went with me to help) and Mazie and Freya each got some ice cream ... a very special treat around here! Mazie had a particularly difficult time while getting the shot (she was freaked out beyond all measure), but recovered quickly and then thanked the nurse. Haha. "Thank you for my shot." It was cute. 

Whoa, mama. I look sleepy. 

NATE PASSED HIS COMP EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never had any doubt ... I'm so happy for him!! His portfolio is due on Friday and then he is almost done. I can't even believe it.

Also, I'm going to be on a panel (along with my friends Sarah and Lisa) during the sermon(s) on Sunday talking about women and fear. I'm really nervous and feeling insecure. I guess I can discuss that fear! I don't quite look pregnant, but my pants are tight and I feel awkward. I keep reminding myself to not be such a whiner. I wouldn't have even considered doing something like two years ago and my spirit of gratitude and humility should override my apprehension about being up front. Old habits die hard!!

I've never been one to consume caffeine in order to get energy, but lately a small cup of coffee has really helped! Also, I can't believe how much I'm showing already. Kinda scary.

Conversations with Mazie:

I put my dirty clothes on her bathroom stool before I got in the shower and she saw them.
Mazie - Mom, are these dirty? Please don't put your dirty clothes on my stool. They're dirty.
Me - Uh, ok. Sorry?

Today she didn't want to wear her shoes to Owen's ...
Me - Sorry, but you have to wear shoes in Owen's. Owen's says that you can't come in if you don't have shoes on.
Mazie - *confused stare* But, Owen's doesn't have a mouth?!

Mazie to Freya - FREYA. NO! DON'T DO THAT!!
Me - Mazie, we don't talk like that to each other. Mommy doesn't talk to you like that ...
Mazie - No, It's actually like *big sigh* ... because you're tired. Because of the new baby.
Totally got called out on the sighing.

Easter morning

Pretty darn excited about the stickers :)

"I'm taking inventory here and I don't see any candy ..."

... because the paper is always more interesting than the actual presents

Whoa. A tiny bowling game. Freaky

Clearly not a fan :(

One of many failed attempts to get a picture of them together.

 And another

What a great day!

Afternoons and evenings are usually soooo hard for me lately. I feel pretty good in the mornings, but some time after lunch I start to get overwhelmingly fatigued and nauseous. Sometimes I feel like crying. Today I decided to take the girls on a walk to see if that would help ... and it did! I felt SO different. We walked to my mom's work and then back home. Before going inside we sat in the grass and then drew with sidewalk chalk. I had enough energy to bathe the girls, get them ready for bed, etc! (which I would have done anyway, but it was a relief to actually have the energy to truly enjoy our time) It was great. (Nate isn't around because he's studying for his comprehensive exam that's tomorrow!!! He's pretty nervous, but I don't think he needs to be. His GPA is outstanding and he's crazy smart.)

This morning we got to see our new baby via ultrasound. The sonographer was really great and took her time getting some cute pics and explaining everything to us. She even printed a picture out for Mazie. :) This new ob office is wonderful and I'm very, very thankful that I'm not experiencing anything like I did in my last pregnancy (super yikes). My mom came with us  ... it was the first time she'd seen an ultrasound live so that was special! New baby is cute and was wiggling his/her little arms and legs around a bunch. :) Heehee. Tiny, tiny human.

PS - I just cried during American Idol. :/ Er ...

Last weekend:

Annual neighborhood egg dying time

(we live in the cutest neighborhood)

Then we had a fun visit from some of our Illinois family!!

Today:

This morning was one of those mornings in which I felt completely defeated. I got up early, worked out, did devotions, showered and made everyone's oatmeal before anyone was awake. I was on a roll, right? I went into the girls rooms with a big smile on my face and was feeling pretty darn good about the day so far ... and then ... I was met with whining and disobedience and crying and drama. Freya wouldn't eat, Mazie whined about making her bed, etc. My description of the morning really doesn't do my disappointment justice AND I realize that my hormones are a little crazy right now, but I felt so unappreciated. It's difficult to work so hard and be met with negativity ... even if the people I'm serving are mere babes. Nate hopped in and quietly calmed people down, dolled out some more consequences and kept the morning moving. I took a few moments to put things into perspective and felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. Nate is SO good at stepping in at the right moment. I do know that my children love and appreciate me. I know this. Being a mom is the most selfless endeavor I've ever embarked on!

Interesting how I spent the first part of my morning working on self and my relationship with God only to fall apart a short while later. Satan knows me so well. :/

My dr appointment was SPECTACULAR. She seems NORMAL and competent. I got teary-eyed as I thanked her for being socially adept. Now we'll just have to wait and see how she handles a scalpel.

Ultrasound tomorrow morning!!

The girls with their Easter loot

Mazie at church in her dress.

We put a necklace kit in her basket and she made it this morning. She was so excited about it ... but not as excited as she was about her new sunglasses!

I tried to get a picture of Freya but she moves too quickly. Cell phone + small human moving at the speed of light = blurry blob baby. :)

Tomorrow my goal is to post some real pictures. Wish me luck.

One room is almost complete!! I still need to paint the lampshade (light blue like the vase on the shelf) and I think it will be officially done. The china cabinet doesn't go with the rest of the room, but it belongs to our landlord and it's staying.
Today (after work) I'm going to paint the shade, stencil the living room tables and pick out paint for the kitchen cabinets.
More pics to come. Maybe with a real camera next time. Oooh, exciting.

I'm having SO much fun with Beth around. I am so thankful that Nate willingly makes adjustments in his schedule so I can hang out with her. He is so thoughtful!!

Yesterday Beth and I picked Rachel (Beth's sister) up from the train station in South Bend and we ended up eating at a greasy diner. So, so greasy. I got some fried mushrooms (I wasn't very hungry) and they messed me UP. I think it was a combination of the grease and the wheat I ate earlier for lunch (where we met with Laura!!!!). I'm a bloated mess.

Speaking of eating, I met with Ann (Nutrition Therapist) again yesterday. It was good to sit down with her and regroup. I started counting calories a couple months ago and things kinda spiraled downhill from there. We talked about how I'm a "purist" and have a very, very difficult time finding balance with eating. I just can't be all or nothing anymore. I freak OUT. :( I'm back to mindful eating and praying alot.

I'm VERY thankful to be married to a "normal eater". He makes it look so easy. :) :) What? Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're comfortably full? A novel idea.

Gotta go!

The past couple of days have been a whirlwind ... a good whirlwind.
Friday night we went over to our friends' house for dinner. I absolutely love being around these people. They are extremely relaxed and have a genuine love and appreciation for those around them.
We knew them in college but have really gotten to know them through our church (more friends through church. I'm seeing a pattern here). The wife was one of the leaders when I first started going to Freedom Groups and she has been influential in my life ever since. I admire her sense of purpose in motherhood and her ability to slow down and appreciate life in the moments.

Moments like these that happened today ...

Friday also involved seeing my friend Beth again!! She looks great. She has worked so hard to get fit and it shows. It's so good to be around her ... she is a positive light in my life. She has never stood over me in judgement even though we chose to take completely different paths in life (her path was ministry, mine was wallowing in sinful misery). She is a very wise, kind person and I trust her implicitly.

This morning I woke up feeling dumpy ... dumpy heart, dumpy body, dumpy mind. I didn't really want to go to church, but Nate encouraged me to go anyway. I'm so glad he did. I was reminded of God's grace and His constant pursuit of me. Some of the people in the congregation shared what pain they were experiencing and it really brought things into perspective for me. I cried a few times and each time Nate put his arm around me and pulled me in closer to him. He is such a safe place to be. He is always in my corner, rooting for me and I never have to worry about where his allegiance lies. I'm so blessed by his belief in me.

This weekend my niece and nephews were in town and my oldest nephew kept taking pictures of us using some kind of silly program. I laughed so hard I almost cried. I thought it was much funnier than anyone else did, but whatever.