About Me

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I'm a work in progress. I'm a mom to two, soon to be three, awesome kids that have taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. I'm married to a kind and handsome man that I genuinely love to be with. I like to be around interesting people and enjoy learning from others. I'm quirky, energetic, have a glass that's usually half full (of wine) and am spontaneous when it fits into my plans. My life is much slower than it once was and even though I sometimes miss the old days, I never take these new days for granted. So, I've given up alot of things in order to give more of myself to my family ... and they better appreciate it. I mean, I expect nothing in return for my selfless love.

Friday, August 31, 2012

New baby

Little baby face. So much cuteness!
Little baby arm
Check out that bicep
Little baby leg and feet
The ultrasound tech showed me where the bright spot on the baby's heart is. She said it's a calcium deposit and is very, very, very common ... they see them all the time now that technology has improved so much. She had just gotten back from a training in Seattle using new technology that allows her to take an extremely in depth look at the heart, which she did. The baby's heart is perfect from what she can see!! She said there is no cleft lip and the baby has all limbs, etc. She checked the no-no parts just to make sure everything was ok and it took everything I had inside me not to peek! The suspense is killing me.

I can't wait to meet this new little person.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Slowing down, Part One

I never was one to take note of the small things. I walked with a purpose. I took on tasks with the end result in mind. Transitions and processes were simply an inconvenient, necessary means to an end. I found great satisfaction in keeping a spotless house. I took pride in my natural ability to organize. I was comfortable with this energetic, focused sort of life. I saw no need to change my pace or my need for efficiency. 

And then I had children.

And my children take note of the small things because to them they are huge things. They don't walk with a purpose. They enjoy the processes and seem to drag them out even longer than I thought humanly possible. Their pace is one of simplicity, delight and discovery.

When we go on a walk I find myself getting annoyed with the innumerable stops to look at a particular flower or rock or piece of dirt. I feel the angst and tension building inside me. I worry that we're wasting time. I remind them that we need to keep moving ....

And then it hits me ... like a ton of selfish bricks.

Keep moving to where? Why? What's the rush?

Several months ago I came to the realization that I had some serious, deep-rooted changes to make or I would regret it. I was about to miss out on most everything that was crucial and meaningful and vital right now.

Thus began a journey to slow down. Those two words still make me feel a little woozy at times and sometimes I feel that if our walk to the corner takes any longer I'll have to bring camping supplies.

But, we walk ... with absolutely no hurry in our step. And I stand on the sidewalk and watch my children spend countless minutes studying the rocks in sidewalk cracks over and over and over again. And I breathe in slowly, relaxing and remind myself that I am at home for this. I am here to allow for the simplicity of childhood. The beauty of peaceful discovery. The contentment of slowing down. I am not here to hurry through the small things so I can tend to the laundry and maintain a perfect house.


I am here to facilitate peace. I am here to take my time. I am here to encourage and nurture and lead by example. This is a heavy calling, my friends, for someone like me. A calling that has brought me the most fear and the most joy all at the same time.

I'm thankful for a husband and children that have mastered the art of a slow-pace. They have taught me so much in such a short time. I'm learning how to find beauty in the process and learning to let the rest go. Ever so slowly.


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Teeth and baby

I purchased some new tooth stuff from Amazon and it's really helping. Today I ate a salad AND a cold peach without much pain at all. So. Happy.

I have my 30 week ultrasound on Thursday morning. I'm anxious to see what it reveals. ... hopefully not the gender. It won't give us a definite answer about Down Syndrome, but at least I get to see our baby one more time before the big day, which is fast approaching. Boy, girl, Down Syndrome, no Down Symdrome we are prepared to love with everything we have.

Monday, August 27, 2012


This weekend was an absolute blasty blast. It was chock full o' goodness.

I actually have conflicting feelings about the whole thing. Me have conflicting feelings? As always. On one hand I'm super pumped that we were able to do so many things and have so many awesome moments. On the other hand I'm a little sad that we were so busy and missed out on a lot of time as a family. Also, I'm tired and still recovering from the late nights.

FRIDAY - Anyway, Friday night Nate and our friend Aaron went to a wedding rehearsal while Aaron's wife Stephanie and I checked out the Boathouse bar or lounge or whatever it's called. We were able to really, really check it out quite well because the service took foreverrrrrrrrr. They did make Stephanie's drink with lots of love so she was happy. Overall, I'd say it was "ok". Even though Cerulean's drinks are odd and no one knows how to pronounce what's in them the experience and atmostphere is much much better down there. This Winona Lake bar review has been brought to you free of charge. You're welcome.

After the rehearsal dinner Aaron and Stephanie came over and we were all up way too late having too much fun.

SATURDAY - I worked during the day. :/ Saturday evening we went to Justin and Liz's wedding which was short and sweet and to the point. I didn't realize that our friends Adam and Laura were going to be there so that was a fun surprise. Afterward we headed down to Cerulean Garden with the wedding party. I loved it. I haven't been out like that in a long time. Again, another very late night.

SUNDAY - Nate said we should go to church. Which we did. And I pouted around about it. *ashamed* Sunday night we got together with our small group and Nate told his life story (we've all taken turns. I shared mine last time and blubbered like a loony) and we ate my gluten-free peach cobbler which was more like gluten-free peach mush. Still tasty though!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

On working out

So here's a picture of myself working out before I was pregnant.


Honestly though that's not really me. Come on, guys, you know I don't have blonde hair. The point is that my regular workouts involve lots of kicking and moves like this ... and now that I'm super pregs I feel as though I'm shoving the baby into my esophagus with each knee lift.

Even though I haven't worked out as consistently in this pregnancy as I have in the previous ones (um, I blame ... let's see ... I blame ... fine. I blame me) this baby is sitting so lowwwwww that when I DO workout it's all kinds of awkward. In comes Expecting More by Sara Haley.

I did my first workout this morning (Synergy) and loved it!!! All the moves are tailored around huge baby tummies and I didn't knee the baby into my chest cavity one time! I really loved it. I was surprised at how weak I've become with my lack of effort lately. :/ I can't wait to start working out again with this new program!

Yay for ridiculously early morning workouts! They are so great ... I love them so much! They make the entire day wonderful! I'm a rock star! Yeah, baby, yeah! (I'm writing this now so I can read it again at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning when I'm sobbing my way into my sports bra.) YES! I am a machine!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


EDIT: Today was pretty much the best. I took the emotions out of the consequences, stayed on top of behavior (as apposed to being the "nagging, if I have to tell you one more time, whoa is me, overly-emotional" mom) and made the consequences swift and meaningful. I was also very intentional about redirection and praise. By this afternoon I felt as though I was "gaining control" again in a peaceful, meaningful way. And I'm not sure how it happened, but I wasn't tired at ALL. The power of prayer?

Anyway, many awesome moments today. I think I got this ....... for now.


I've been up for three hours and have doled out every reward and consequence I know of for Mazie and Freya. *big, huge fat sigh* This has to get under control. Now. I'm at a loss.

It's going to be a long day. Nate took a few turns so I'm sure he's going to be dragging as well. :(

Sometimes being a parent is overwhelmingly exhausting and frustrating. Am I doing it all wrong?

I just have to keep reminding myself that the fruits of our labor will be made evident. I hope sooner rather than later. Diligence is honorable and this trying of my patience will only strengthen my soul. *whimper* Right? My reactions are noted, memorized and mimicked by these little beings ... sometimes this calling feels like too much. At times I just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away, screaming and crying as I crawl into bed and hide. Am I helping them at all? Am I wasting these valuable teaching moments ... by overshadowing them with tension and a strained voice tone, stomping around and feeling sorry for myself?

Praying for immeasurable peace and wisdom every day, every hour. I am shaping them not only with my rewards and consequences, but with my whole being. Every reaction. Every mood. Every look. Every word.

Please fill me with joy, understanding and a tranquil spirit so they may inherit them as well. They are learning from me, please let me be an example of stability and rationality.

And also .... please .... let me get some sleep.


Monday, August 20, 2012

Weekend recap

We went to Joel and Katie's reception on Friday night .... saw a bunch of people I haven't seen for a while. I got on Nate's Facebook and stole this pic. Just for you.
Nate was attacked by two ferocious, albeit adorable small people.
We spent some time going over the first draft of our will. Not pleasant, kind of a downer, but important.

A parade went by our house!

Nate and I watched The Grey on Sunday night. It was ... ok. I mean, it doesn't compare to House Hunters or Real Housewives of NYC (<--- secret, guilty pleasure). It's difficult to beat people looking for double vanities and snooty, wealthy, catty womenfolk. Talk about scary.

Btw, Nate's job has him working with preschoolers one or two days a week .... awwwwwwwww. Beyond adorable.

Speaking of adorable, something that isn't adorable is this depressive funk I seem to have fallen into. Social interaction makes me feel overwhelmed. Ugh. :(

Saturday, August 18, 2012

A new take on an old classic

Mazie has taken to playing my "compano" lately. My grandpa gave this player piano to me as a gift on my 16th birthday. I never, in a million years thought that I'd have a little blond girl sitting here ...


Thursday, August 16, 2012

This and that

So, we're the weird neighbors that play outside more when it's cloudy and cool. I can't wait for Fall. Have I mentioned how much I love Fall and cool weather? I have? You sure I've mentioned that before? Oh, ok ... well allow me to continue. I'm loving this weather!! The other day we walked outside and Mazie said, "It's so beautiful and cozy today." That's my girl.

Here's my other girl and (half of) I

I went to the ER last night positive that I had a UTI. I had one when I was pregs with Freya and my symptoms were almost identical, only this time I threw a little intestinal distress into the mix. Wooo, living on the edge. Lots of monitoring, a couple of tests including this one and three hours later the results came back negative. Apparently it's just the intestinal junk that's causing the cramping, fatigue, blah, blah, blah. Looking back over the past week I realized the following things:
  • I have unintentionally eaten wheat. It's so sneaky. Hi, wheat-induced gas and bloating. There you are again.
  • I probably caught some kind of mild virus.
  • I haven't eaten many fresh fruits and vegetables lately. Gasp. I'm so, so ashamed.
About that fresh produce ... my tooth sensitivity is getting out of control. I can't even eat salads anymore because the cold makes me want to die. And who wants to eat a warm salad? SO, as soon as our dental insurance kicks in (end of this month) I'll be heading down to Dr. Hollar (Hollahhhh) to find out if there is anything they can do for me. I miss my salads. :( I use special toothpaste and special rinse and those at least allow me to eat without screaming in pain (which everyone around me appreciates) .... but I still hurt when anything cold touches certain teeth.

Now I'm back to my fruit/veggie smoothies (with a straw). This morning's was yum. The girls drank a lot of it, too. Just ... so proud.

Other than those things I feel great! :D I'm in the third trimester now .... Time is flying!!

3rd and final!


Monday, August 13, 2012

Weekend recap

Friday: Went to the Wright's house with the Scantlens for raclette on the Wright's new screened-in porch. It was the perfect night (weather-wise) to be out like that. The food was great and we laughed so, so hard. All three of us ladies are pregnant ... just an interesting tidbit for you. We all live within a few blocks of one another so I think it must be something in the water. Harhar. I hate that joke.
I forgot to take my camera so you'll just have to visualize us sitting around a hot plate of veggies and cheese, eating and laughing by candlelight. Here's a picture to get you started.

Saturday: I worked all day. We received a last minute dinner invite and after work Nate, the girls and I went out to his Aunt and Uncle's house in Albion for dinner. The girls loved it. Again, perfect weather to be outside. Aunt Sheri sent us home with a bunch of fresh produce from her garden. They are so sweet to our kids and made sure they had lots of fun things to do ... they had some fireworks, let the girls play by the koi pond and then Uncle Bob lit one of these thingys.

Sunday: The usual.

Now I'm in my jammies and ready to hunker down on the couch with Nate and watch The Glades on OnDemand. Oooh, or maybe some House Hunters.

Oh, before I forget ... the library is the best place ever for little kids on a rainy, cold day. We were there for about an hour and a half this morning coloring, reading, playing with blocks, etc. They love it there and it's a great use of our time indoors.

Also, the book store down the street from us has lots of .99 cent books and I just finished one not realizing that it's the first in a series of three ... the book store doesn't have the other two, but the library does. I love free! I'm glad because I really want to know how this thing ends. It's a creepy story and it had me so freaked out the other night I had Nate go check the doors. Maybe after some tv I'll go read and scare myself silly again. Sounds like a reasonable bedtime plan ...


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Come on, Fall!

Loved the weather today!!! I sat outside with the girls for a long time late this afternoon. It was so nice to not be squinty-eyed and sweaty ... I guess some people really like those things. Not me. Give me Fall all year 'round!

Summer is difficult for me for whatever reason. Maybe I have this. Sad, sad summertime.

The weather in Oregon (where Nate's school is) is like this much of the year. Just throwing it out there. Just statin' the facts. :)



Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Call me Ol' Swayback

Here I am. 27 weeks today.

I guess that's all I have to say about that.
No, no ... there's more. This is the most uncomfortable pregnancy thus far. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful and I do love being pregnant, but yeah ... uncomfortable. At least my ankles are still skinny and my feet don't look like burritos this time.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Sugar, sugar.

EDIT: The nurse called me today and said that I passed my glucose test with flying colors. She also said that my hemoglobin was perfect and to continue doing whatever it is that I'm doing. She said normally at this point they see iron levels drop and many women have to take more iron. Well, thanks to my liquid chlorophyll my iron levels are exceptional. Gooooo, yucky green plant biomolecules!

Earlier today I was wandering around the house like a zombie ... so tired. My mouth was hanging open because keeping it closed required too much effort. Then I took a spontaneous nap in the recliner and woke up choking on my own saliva. I'm talking tired. I got online (I'm really into self-diagnosis with the help of google) and read all over the place that dehydration can cause extreme fatigue for preggos. I realized that with our weekend traveling, my day spent at the lab yesterday and then being too tired to lift a glass to my lips today I've barely had any h2o! Very unusual for me. So, I crawled to the kitchen, hoisted myself up to the water filter thingy and somehow managed to not only fill my bottle but also drink from it. Now I feel so much better. Water. Must drink my water.


I had my one-hour glucose test today (standard test for gestational diabetes). Mmmmhhmmm, lots of lightheaded, sugary fun. (I was lightheaded bc of the fasting before the drink. Thankfully the drink made me feel like my normal, sugary self again.) I was there for about forty years, which is a very long time and got a lot of my book read. I changed my perspective from that of irritation with the ridiculous wait to thankfulness for the time to just sit, relax and read a book. I'll get the results back on Wednesday.

We went to Michigan over the weekend for a family reunion. You might be thinking, "Family reunion. Bored to death. Awkward." but this family reunion is a blast. We all camp out (unless your pregs, then you get a room inside. win.) and sit around, swim, eat, talk, laugh, relax. It's a great getaway. Nate and I were engaged in some good conversation on the way there and ended up driving the wrong way for 45 minutes. Big, fat fail for this co-pilot and her gps skills. It did give us more time to continue our talk so I guess that was helpful?

I didn't end up taking my camera and the only picture I took on my cell was this one of Mazie and her cousin Luna. They were bonding over a princess veil and a bag of cheez-itz. Luna reminds me so much of Mazie. Isn't it such a sweet picture? You know it is, I don't care who ya is.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Olympics. And words of affirmation.

So far I've only watched enough of The Olympics to discover that water polo is nothing like volleyball at all.


Having nothing to do with water sports revelations, last night Nate said to me, "I'm really thankful that I don't have to worry about our children while I'm at work. Or our money. Or what you're doing. Thank you." I'm not sure if he's counseling someone with these issues or not so I'm not sure where those thoughts were coming from, but I'll take them. Neither of us take trust for granted.

Then, this morning I was in the bath (a bubble bath, of course because that's the type of luxurious lifestyle I lead) and he came into brush his teeth and said, "I'm glad you have gotten into taking baths. I'm glad you're learning to relax and that you feel as though you deserve this time ... because you do." I have a sneaking suspicion that part of him is just glad I'm taking baths in the morning because I'm in there when he comes in to brush his teeth before work ...

The other day Mazie wanted to rock Freya to sleep at nap time. Freya, in her usual Freya fashion was fine with it. She's usually down for whatever ... so relaxed. Must get it from me. I AM taking bubble baths in the mornings now, you know.

Oh, for goodness’ sake these girls are sweet

This is what Freya does when I tell her it's time to sleep