EDIT: Today was pretty much the best. I took the emotions out of the consequences, stayed on top of behavior (as apposed to being the "nagging, if I have to tell you one more time, whoa is me, overly-emotional" mom) and made the consequences swift and meaningful. I was also very intentional about redirection and praise. By this afternoon I felt as though I was "gaining control" again in a peaceful, meaningful way. And I'm not sure how it happened, but I wasn't tired at ALL. The power of prayer?
Anyway, many awesome moments today. I think I got this ....... for now.
I've been up for three hours and have doled out every reward and consequence I know of for Mazie and Freya. *big, huge fat sigh* This has to get under control. Now. I'm at a loss.
It's going to be a long day. Nate took a few turns so I'm sure he's going to be dragging as well. :(
Sometimes being a parent is overwhelmingly exhausting and frustrating. Am I doing it all wrong?
I just have to keep reminding myself that the fruits of our labor will be made evident. I hope sooner rather than later. Diligence is honorable and this trying of my patience will only strengthen my soul. *whimper* Right? My reactions are noted, memorized and mimicked by these little beings ... sometimes this calling feels like too much. At times I just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away, screaming and crying as I crawl into bed and hide. Am I helping them at all? Am I wasting these valuable teaching moments ... by overshadowing them with tension and a strained voice tone, stomping around and feeling sorry for myself?
Praying for immeasurable peace and wisdom every day, every hour. I am shaping them not only with my rewards and consequences, but with my whole being. Every reaction. Every mood. Every look. Every word.
Please fill me with joy, understanding and a tranquil spirit so they may inherit them as well. They are learning from me, please let me be an example of stability and rationality.
And also .... please .... let me get some sleep.
- I'm a work in progress. I'm a mom to two, soon to be three, awesome kids that have taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. I'm married to a kind and handsome man that I genuinely love to be with. I like to be around interesting people and enjoy learning from others. I'm quirky, energetic, have a glass that's usually half full (of wine) and am spontaneous when it fits into my plans. My life is much slower than it once was and even though I sometimes miss the old days, I never take these new days for granted. So, I've given up alot of things in order to give more of myself to my family ... and they better appreciate it. I mean, I expect nothing in return for my selfless love.