About Me

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I'm a work in progress. I'm a mom to two, soon to be three, awesome kids that have taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. I'm married to a kind and handsome man that I genuinely love to be with. I like to be around interesting people and enjoy learning from others. I'm quirky, energetic, have a glass that's usually half full (of wine) and am spontaneous when it fits into my plans. My life is much slower than it once was and even though I sometimes miss the old days, I never take these new days for granted. So, I've given up alot of things in order to give more of myself to my family ... and they better appreciate it. I mean, I expect nothing in return for my selfless love.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Mazie has been in Illinois with my parents all weekend. They are visiting my brother and his family. She'll be home in about an hour and we can't wait. It's been fun to spend so much one-on-one time with Freya though ... she's such a funny girl. Easy to please and such a little cuddler. I could just eat her up.
We walked to church today (as we usually do) and the snow surprised us again! Go, Father Winter, go!! Glorious, glorious snow. It was snowing so hard on our walk home that I couldn't even put my head up and look in front of me. By the time we got home and started lunch the snow had stopped and the sun had come out. Father Winter must've needed a Sunday afternoon nap. Slacker.

Nate getting the girls ready for bed ...

EDIT: As I was getting ready for bed (I love to get ready for bed before 8 p.m. ... another benefit to wintertime!) I realized that it's not Father Winter, it's Father Time. I really gave Old Man Winter the shaft on that one. Well, that's what he gets for being so stingy with the snow this year. 

Saturday, January 28, 2012

This is what you have to wear if you commit a party foul. 
I'm not sure what he did last Saturday night, but it must not have been good.
We have weird awesome friends.

Mazie drew this picture of her baby cousin all wrapped up.
Her artistic ability isn't too shabby for a three-year-old. 

What a wonderful surprise to wake up to snow-covered ground. I love the snow so much! Maybe I can get out there and take a few pictures before work today.
Fruits and veggies are still dominating this household. We're on a roll now, folks! I'm going to score some coconut water at work today ... which will be like drinking liquid gold. It's crazy how I can actually begin to taste food that seemed so bland and boring before. When I clear out the hyper-flavored, processed stuff, the regular ol' God food is spectacular. Last night my banana tasted like pie. God made food to taste fantastic all by itself. How did we become so ungrateful?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Mazie put her stuffed animal in her sweater during nap time. She is such a little mommy.

Freya sticks her little tongue out all the time. It's pretty much the cutest thing.

This is a typical lunch for the girls (I have people ask me what our kids eat).
That's plain greek yogurt with natural almond butter mixed in, in case you're wondering what the weird, white globs are. We usually do soy or coconut yogurt, but the greek was on sale. Mazie especially loves peas, she chose them for her snack today as well. Crazy girl. The crackers are some kind of multi-grain.

My lunch. Organic baby greens with radishes, mushrooms, onion and grapes. The dressing is flaxseed oil, olive oil, agave, dijon mustard and apple cider vinegar.

I used too much oil (we can use it sparingly on the reboot) but, as I told Stephanie, dry salad makes me want to kick someone in the face. I'm working my way up to less oil. Honestly, this hasn't been as bad as I was thinking it would be. Everything has been tasty and I'm never hungry! 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


After watching the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, our good friends, along with Nate and I decided that we wanted in on this as well. We picked a date (today) to start, purchased an obscene amount of fruits and veggies and made a commitment that will last for 15 days. The website Join the Reboot (which was created by Joe Cross, the maker of the fat and sick doc) provides lots of yummy recipes and tips to help us succeed.
S and I emailed back and forth this morning about how angry we already felt. We're not hyped about losing weight (I'm the only one of the bunch that needs to) or being perfect. Nope. We're just downright mad. In the movie Joe is so depressed in the beginning that he stays in bed for days. I had a friend that did the same thing when she quit smoking. Take away something that you depend on (whether it be coffee, cheese, bread, wine, cigarettes, etc.) and see how happy you are in the beginning ... the happiness comes in full force after you rid your body of that poo (haha, literally) and your body is able to function as God intended it to. Natural high. I wanna natural high right nowwwwwwww.

These friends and us all eat pretty healthy diets (lots and lots of produce, little meat, dairy, etc.) so this isn't a radical change for us, but still ... it's somewhat nerve racking.
As a recovering (recovering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!) bulimic I am taking extra precautions and being very realistic. This isn't about perfection. This isn't about losing weight. This isn't about restriction in order to feel "ok" about myself.
This is about cleansing and seeing what kinds of happy things happen to me as a result.

You've gotta watch the movie. The power of nutrition is unbelievable ... we are a society blinded by the media and dependent on pharmaceutical companies. It's really sad. We have come to accept that getting older means feeling tired, popping lots of pills and undergoing multiple procedures (heart, back, diabetes)  ... but it really doesn't have to be this way. At all. And good golly, are we fat ... I've struggled my en.tire. life!

Watch the movie. Ok, ok. I'll shut up about it already.
But, really ... watch it.

Monday, January 23, 2012

What better way to spend my days?

Dr. Suess, pretty toes ... the sweet life.

I'm feeling completely and utterly thankful that I'm able to stay home (most days) with my baby girls. We have so much fun together and I feel the blessing of responsibility to teach them about life and Christ's never-ending love. I just want so much for them. <3

This weekend was a success. The food was "ok" ... it was cold by the time we ate it, but our friends said they really liked the collard greens! More converts! We stayed up way (way way way) too late, but it was worth it as we were able to spend a lot of time with people we hadn't seen in a while.

Speaking of food, my prayer partner brought me some flourless oat bran muffins this afternoon. Yummy! I love bran muffins and these are so good without flour, sugar, etc. She told me they'll keep things moving as well. Bonus!

Speaking of teaching ... the leaders of our church gave an absolute yes to me being a leader in recovery group. They were encouraged by the work God has done in my life and didn't bat an eye when the current leaders told them of my past. I cried so hard when I found out. ... what a testimony I have been granted. To use my ugly past for good? Redemption. I have been redeemed and now I get to share it more freely with others that are hurting and seeking the truth. I go in for an official interview in a few weeks. God just keeps on opening the doors.

Friday, January 20, 2012

One of Mazie's biggest thrills is to work in her daddy's office. She sits at her play desk and does her "school work" while he studies ... he loves having her in there with him. He is so sweet to those girls.

We're having friends over for dinner tomorrow night and then we're all going to another friend's house for games and such. I'm super excited!!!

On the menu ...
Slow cooker (turkey) sausage and collard greens
Curry mushroom brown rice pilaf
Asian broccoli slaw (my own version)
Multigrain boule (store bought)
Greek yogurt with blackberries and honey
Apricot juice
Vanilla coconut milk

I don't follow recipes so every dish is a crap shoot. Hope I can pull it off!

Yippy for the weekend!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I've come to realize that incorporating the dance party on a daily basis is overkill.
They apparently have more important business to attend to.
The thrill is gone.

Monday, January 16, 2012

So, let's talk about the BMV. Shall we? We shall!

Trip #1 - The BMV people told me that they didn't have my married name in the system (I got married in Illinois) and that I would need to bring in a marriage license proving that I have a new last name now. Fine. Ok. No problem.

Trip #2 - The BMV people told me that they didn't have my maiden name in the system either ... that I was listed under my previous married name. (It would have been helpful had they told me that on trip #1) They said I would need a copy of my divorce decree so they could connect my old married name to my maiden name to my current married name. They said the decree was the only thing I needed to bring and that the written test I just took would still be valid. Fine. Ok. No big problem.

Trip #3 - The BMV people told me that I did need to bring in all of the required documentation along with the divorce decree, not just the decree like they lied said. I just sat there and stared at the wall for a few seconds, trying to take it all in. I cleared my throat and I spoke very slowly, "So, you mean I have to come back .... again?" I was very kind and calm, but inside I was really frustrated. Not Fine. Not Ok. Kind of a problem.

In the meantime my licensed expired.

Trip #4 - (My mom drove me. It was circa 1991.) The BMV people told me that I (finally) had all of the needed documents!! I beamed so proudly. I did it. I made it through ... all of those failed visits were leading up to this triumphant moment. I heard choirs singing and a little bird came and sang on my shoulder. All was well! And then. And .... then ..... she said, "Oh, wait. I can't look at your driving record because your license has been suspended." I said, "Oh, come now. You're joking. Right? ........ Riiiight?" Nope. Not a joke. I asked her why it was suspended, but she couldn't tell me. That's correct: The department of driving was unable to tell me why my license had been suspended. I was like, "But, you're the department of driving!" 
She gave me the website to visit in order to see for myself and then I asked her, in a clear, serious voice, "Are you sure I have everything I need here in my folder? (Because I have to bring in so many docs I put it all in a folder) Can you please look again just to make sure that my next trip, trip number five, is a winner?" She went to her supervisor to have her look through my things and came back, sat down slowly and in a very calm and collected voice said, "Um, we also need your original marriage license in order to connect your maiden name to your first married name."
I just broke down crying at that point. Defeated again. A rain cloud hovered over me and I'm pretty sure I heard Taps playing in the distance. She got teary-eyed as well ... probably because I wasn't leaving. I was just sitting at her station like a blubbering mess. I told her that I didn't even know where that license was. She was very nice to me (probably scared I was going to start tearing my clothes and covering myself with ashes) and helped me figure out how I could get a copy of it. I told her that I wasn't frustrated with her personally, but that I was frustrated with the people that should have been telling me everything from the very beginning. And then I told her that I was so sad. Heh. Nutcase, I know. Really not fine or ok and now I have a big problem.

Later that day at home: I got online and found out I could get a copy of my first marriage license from the Las Vegas Circuit Court for a mere $3. That's Vegas, baby.
I also found out that my license has been suspended for six years. Yes, you read that correctly. SIX. YEARS. Apparently I didn't have insurance or at least didn't show proof of it back in 2005 (my guess is that I didn't actually have insurance bc my ex was in charge of that.) and they suspended my license shortly thereafter. I don't understand how I've able to obtain car insurance, new licenses, etc. for all of these years. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Crazy. Now I have to pay a big fine and have our insurance company send a special form to the BMV showing proof of insurance. Oh, and then make a fifth trip to the BMV, my second home.
I mean, only if someone else can drive me there ... Harhar. 

Random pics. Just for fun!

Nate and Freya playing

 Miss Mazie joined the fun

Mazie loves to draw and paint

.... and dance

Check out my monkey slippahs!
I'm so glad they made it into this shot bc I love them.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Those that know me know that I find great joy and satisfaction in a fully-stocked fridgie. I don't enjoy grocery shopping very much, but this last trip was great because Nate went with me. I mean, he generally makes everything easier for me ... and I do possess the desire to be babied at times (or often, whatever).
Notice our apple cider vinegar? I suggest anyone that is not currently consuming that on a regular basis, start. Start now.

Ooh, ooh I'm day 39 of Power 90 and have started the last phase. Hurts. Hurts so good. My parents decided that they want to (finally) go off their meds and have cut out crap foods. My mom's lost 30 pounds and my dad has lost some as well, but I don't have the exact number. I'm so proud of them. My Dad's main goal is to get off his prednisone (bad, bad, horrible drug) and my mom's is to, well, I think to just live longer. I made that up, but it sounds good.

Next post is about my BMV adventures and why I can't drive at this present time. Gotta a big X through muh name. WaaWaaaaaah.

Let's end this in a happy note
I love that smile

Love those eyelashes ... and that tongue.
(She's always sticking it out)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Lately I've been in the moments, present with my surroundings. I've weeded out so many distractions and this act has given way to intentional focus. ... to get down low and look into the faces of these little ladies ... to stop what I'm doing and and silence myself. .... to listen to Nate, truly listen. ... to slow down, minimize the to-do list and participate fully in the heartbeat of this home. 

Dance Party
(we have them frequently) 

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:21

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Weekend recap:

Friday -
  • The BMV. Ohhhhh, the BMV. I'm gonna save that experience for a post of its very own. The story ends with me crying ... so you'll definitely want to stay tuned.
  • Double date night with the Wineys!!!!!!!! We went to our old haunt, The Downtown ... still dark, smokey and crowded? Yep. We then came back to our house to eat wings we picked up from BWW. We ate them out of the take-home boxes at the kitchen counter because that's the sort of excellent, gracious hostess I am. After dinner we walked down to Cerulean for an amazing (albeit expensive) cocktail.  And then we walked back up to our house for some games and talking. Super, great, amazing night.
Saturday -
  • Slept in. 
  • Went to my parents' house to get our girls and ended up hanging out there until after dinner. We watched www.fatsickandnearlydead.com. A must see.
  • Saturday night Nate and I just lazed on the couch.
Sunday -
  • We walked to church because the weather was so nice.
  • Let's see ... I love our church and am very thankful for the non-judgemental attitudes we've encountered. I have established some very deep, very transparent relationships and these relationships have encouraged me to shed my shame and embrace my testimony with hope. The sermon was about the Bible and a key point was that the Bible is basically a love letter from God. It reminded me of the book we're reading through with Mazie (recommended by a very dear (new) friend) ... it's written in story form and brings me to tears almost every time I read a chapter.

  • Right now the girls are sleeping, Nate is ordering his books for the last semester and I'm basking in the peacefulness of His blessings.

Ooh, ooh and before I forget ... check out some of the coffee stuff I got for Christmas. I bypassed the Folgers/drip pot phase and went straight for the snooty stuff. It took me 35 years to like coffee and since I lost alot of precious, coffee drinking years I have been automatically granted coffee snob rights.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Right now my family is watching 'Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead'.

It's a MUST SEE. Wow.

(Annnnnd, my favorite dr./author/health guru is in it!!)

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Welp. Unfortunately, I can't post my pictures from Christmas because I shot them 'raw' and don't know how to convert them. Raw pictures are dead to me until I figure it all out. Dead, I tell you!

I walked into the living room the other day and found Nate
wearing a princess basket on his head.
These things happen sometimes around here.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Oooh, ooh. I have so many pictures and fun things to write about. I'll try to get around to that soon.
Today I put away half of the girls' toy, books and stuffed animals. I think I'll rotate the old and "new" at the beginning of each month (or so). This way they won't get bored ... and they will appreciate what they do have instead of getting buried in a fluffy mountain of Hop on Pops and Curious Georges.
I have LOVED having Nate around while he's on winter break. Now that Freya is older we are all able to play and joke around. They are so sweet and funny.
I deactivated my Facebook  ... for several reasons. One of the reasons is so I can focus on the moments while I'm in them. Knowing so much about so many people clouds my brain. And you know, if there's one thing I don't need, it's more brain cloud.

Besides, these little people are growing up way too fast.
I blink ... and they have changed.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I'm so grateful that we went to church this morning.
The prayers lifted moved me to tears.
The genuine interest we have in one another as a church body ...

A few years ago I didn't have much interest in church.
I had no true desire.
Now I am surrounded by it.

What beautiful people I have found here.
All broken. All seeking Him.
All together.