About Me

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I'm a work in progress. I'm a mom to two, soon to be three, awesome kids that have taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. I'm married to a kind and handsome man that I genuinely love to be with. I like to be around interesting people and enjoy learning from others. I'm quirky, energetic, have a glass that's usually half full (of wine) and am spontaneous when it fits into my plans. My life is much slower than it once was and even though I sometimes miss the old days, I never take these new days for granted. So, I've given up alot of things in order to give more of myself to my family ... and they better appreciate it. I mean, I expect nothing in return for my selfless love.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Fair.


Nate and I saw Dark Knight Rises on Sunday .... one of the best action movies I've seen in a long time. So good. So, so good.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

So long. Farewell.

Tomorrow we embark on yet another new phase of life. We're really getting the hang of this now. Just think ... in two more years we'll move again, Nate will go back to school for his doctorate and you'll be hearing this same old song and dance from me again. Betcha can't wait.

For the record (please take note. i really do want this on record), I have requested that Nate not go to school in OH, PA, IA, MI or really any state that's not Colorado or Oregon. Washington was in the running until we found out there are no schools there that have the accredidation he's looking for. Bye, WA. It was good while it lasted. Basically, if we're gonna move to a different state let's at least make it a super awesome one. We're talking my parents into coming along as well.

Anyway, so tomorrow Nate starts his new job and I'm thrilled for him. It's local, has good benefits, looks good on his resume and allows him to use his degree. I have to admit that I'm also a tad sad. I haven't been without him in 2.5 months. I don't even know why I'm questioning my capabilities to be able to parent without him present seeing as I did it for two years while he was in school. But, I've gotten used to him being around. He's nice to look at. He's fun. He's incredibly helpful. Annnnd I simply like having him here.

He'll be missed. :(

Time to put my big girl panties on (which I have now that I'm six months preg) and have a little more faith in myself. On to the next chapter. Here we go.



Friday, July 27, 2012

Birthday and the end of an era

Ok, so the word era might be a slight eggasteration when describing the past two months. Today was the last weekday of having Nate around ... he starts his new job on Monday. We talked about what our morning schedule would now look like because YES I am one of those neurotic moms that gets up before the kiddos to get ready for the day. It's just better for everyone, trust me, when I've had my "alone" time in the morning. I like to workout or lay on the floor and do a fake workout (AKA Winsor Pilates) then I water the flowers (the ones I haven't killed), take a look at the layout and menu for they day and then, and then, my favorite part .... take a bath whilst doing devotions. I know, right? I'm on a lavender/peppermint essential oil kick in my bath right now. The other day I went overboard with the peppermint and it was, um, not okay. Word to wise, back off the peppermint or you will hurt.

Ok, so enough about me. Whose blog is this anyway?

So, it was our last weekday having Nate home. Bittersweet. We're both ready to move on to this next phase but will miss being together 24/7. We're disgustingly compatible; deal with it.

While he was at the chiropractor today the girls got their "babies" ready for a nap.

My grandpa built this crib for my mom when she was a little girl. Then my mom passed it on to me and now I've passed it on to my girls. Awwwwww.

OH, I had my birthday party on Wednesday night. It was a huge rager. It was so crazy that I can only post one picture ...


Ok, I lied. This was as intense as it got and it was perfect. (Check out my gluten-free cake. Check it out, yo. It was delish.) Nate took the girls to B and B Works (he's so brave) to pick out some tiny lotions for me and then he got me a wireless keyboard for my iPad. Which I'm using. Right NOW.

And, lastly ... every time I'm pregnant I get something like restless leg syndrome in my back. I kid you not. What? Restless legs in my back? Yeah, it's weird and it's also horrifically uncomfortable. So, now I would like to give a shout-out to these tiny white pills that have gotten me through my pregnancies. Thank you, person that formulated this manna from heaven. I love you. Nate also loves you because he has been relieved of his husbandly duty to rub my back in the middle of the night. Thank you, Hyland's. And God bless.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

On Motherhood

My prayer partner mentioned to me that I always seem so calm and that I'm never bothered or upset by my children's behavior. Oooh, my. I guess I'm a fairly calm person in terms of reactions to irritating situations, but I by no means have my act together all the time. Here is an example ... Sunday night Freya was up 9,000 times (she has a cold. yes, a cold. in july.) and by time number 7,674 I was pretty exhausted and irritated. Even though Nate and I were taking turns with her I had still reached my limit. I stomped around and declared to half-asleep Nate that, "I can't go one week. Just ONE week without somebody needing something from me in the middle of night. ONE WEEK. I can't do this!" Grumble. Boohoo .... stomp down the hall.

Here's the thing, I DO get irritated by the whining and the nighttime issues and the Mommy-can-I-have-one-more-drink shenanigans. But, I'm not a yeller (although I did raise my voice at the dog for pooping in the house. again. yesterday.) nor am I a thrower. I tend to blurt out a bunch of whoa-is-me statements. This actually comes from intense insecurity about my mothering capabilities. You know, like THE CHILDREN ARE SO WHINY TODAY SO I MUST BE FAILING IN ALL WAYS POSSIBLE AND I SHOULD JUST GO HIDE IN THE BATHROOM FOREVER AND ADMIT DEFEAT.

So, yes I get upset and irritated. Yes, I say things I shouldn't say sometimes and yes, I feel bad for myself too often. My saving grace is that I'm naturally quick to recover and intent on seeking forgiveness. I tend to blame myself when things aren't going well when I just need to accept that this is all part of the role. It is only through God's assurance to bless my efforts and to be my strength when I'm sobbing in secrecy because the girls are fighting again that I can move forward with more confidence.

I never knew that motherhood would require such an in depth look at myself. Why didn't anyone tell me?? My children watch my every move. It's so scary! I suppose it would be easier in the moment to just give in, yell, whatever, but that doesn't help accomplish our long-term goals here .... to raise kind, socially adept, responsible, honest people. If our hearts weren't so passionate about this then the day-to-day would be easier ... for a time. I have faith that the fruits of our labor will continue to be seen as they grow up and that one day we can look back and think, "YES. We are SO thankful that we put in so much effort during the crucial times."

Then I can sleep in peace again to my heart's desire.

And then I will miss the 3 a.m. snuggles. I will long for them again and I will wonder how the years flew by so quickly.

It's all about perspective.

Friday, July 20, 2012

family time

I had accidentally entitled this post damily. *snicker*

At the beginning of the week one of Nate's aunts and cousin came over and spent the night with us. I even (wow, even came out efen. Haha. I made some efen breakfast for the damily.) made what we call around here "real breakfast"! Non-real breakfast is usually oats with honey and raisins, sometimes almond butter if I'm feeling extra crazy. Woooooo. Real breakfast consists of eggs, toast, fruit, etc. Real breakfast signifies one of two things: a) we have company or b) I woke up with more gusto and happies than usual. Anyway, so we ate real breakfast and chatted around the table .... it was wonderful.

Then tonight two of Nate's aunts, his uncle and their friend came over and hung out on our porch with us for a long time. We had such a good time with them.

We really like having family come to visit us. It is becoming more of a challenge for us to visit others out of state ... with a full-time job, a part-time job, one car, a tight budget, 2.5 kids and a dog. Having fam come here is soooooo much easier. We wish it could happen more often! :( Plus, Winona Lake is so charming and relaxing.

Time for bed! If the new baby will let me sleep that is. We've got a real fighter on our hands here ... this baby throws some serious punches. It's the best feeling in the whole world. :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The longest day in history

Today was the longest day ...


Not really in a bad way. Here's the short of it .... we have been saving up for a loft bed for Mazie and some living room furniture, etc. We decided not to buy anything until Nate got a job, which he did, an awesome one. Yay, time to buy!

We left for Ikea Tuesday afternoon, shopped for hours and then went to retrieve Mazie's bed only to discover that our measurements were off and the boxes wouldn't fit in our car. We knew that our little Monkey would be SO sad and confused if we came home without a bed. We loaded up everything else that would fit and headed to our hotel. (Nate wanted to have a last, little get away with me before entering back into the work force. What can I say? He really likes me!). My Dad called and said that he would just drive his truck to Ikea on Wednesday morning and help us get the bed home. We offered to just meet him in Merrillville (halfway) in the morning and trade cars ... then drive his truck BACK to Ikea and he could head home in our car. It would save him a lot of driving time.

SO, Tuesday night we (FINALLY) got to our hotel room and then woke up early on Wed to meet my dad. We scarfed down a quick breakfast at the hotel, drove to Merrillville, traded cars with my Dad, drove back to Ikea, finished shopping, drove home. Then we unloaded the truck, drove to my parents' to get our car, drove our car home, unloaded it, put the car seats back in and then went to my parents' to get the girls. THEN we got home and put the loft together only to discover that it didn't fit the way we wanted. BAH. FINE. We rearranged a bit and got the girls in bed (Mazie is in seventh heaven in her "tall bed with a yadder").

Tomorrow we're going to buy a smaller dresser so we can move everything the way we want. The dresser that's in there is actually our landlord's and since we will eventually need to buy our own, we may as well do it now and move the landlord's into storage.

K. We're really tired. We're not even attempting to put together the rest of the furniture. No. No way.

All in all Nate and I had a FANTASTIC adventure together. It was a (tiring) blast and we laughed a lot in our sleep-deprived state. Love that man!!!!

We're both extremely grateful to my parents for babysitting, driving and letting us use their truck. They are so good to us.


Having nothing to do with Ikea or Merrillville ...

and not that anyone cares, but our girls will never wear bikinis while they're living at home (with our knowledge). Or those shorty-shorts!!

Is modesty dead or what?

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Chicago Children's Museum

Freya wanted to be wrapped up in her towel like this after swimming in the hotel pool.
Mazie said she looked like a hotdog and then laughed really hard
Mazie was still feeling kind of puny after her vom session at Grandma's bday party
so we all snuggled down early
Special pacifier privileges bring out the fashionista in her

Fire station safety

Mazie's fire safety book that she got for (very reluctantly) crawling through the fake smoke.

Ever try to make crawling through a net of fake smoke fun with a frightened, crying toddler? I have.

Domino play area

AKA parents get to sit down and rest area

We knew we were nearing the end when this happened

Signs of a successful vacation


Thursday, July 12, 2012


They didn't have anymore shirts in her size. She looks so tiny!
Getting ready to shoot some foam darts
The finished products
Our buttons

To not leave Freya out ....

She wanted nothing to do with wearing her ballerina skirt a little lower :)


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

bunny love

There is a little bunny in our neighborhood so we set out some carrots for it. We'll see if they're gone in the morning. Do raccoons eat carrots? Either way, the girls were so cute and excited.

The sign says, "To: Bunny, From: Mazie and Freya"

I told my OB yesterday that I really desire to just go in to the hospital and a have a baby. Arrive, surgery, baby, recover. Voila.

She is the best OB I've had thus far. I was reading through my old blog the other day and realized that every OB has been nicknamed. I've had Dr. Calmface, Dr. Swearsalot, (<--- both excellent OBs) Dr. Rudepants (AKA Dr. Mumbles) Dr. Handshake and now Dr. FavoriteDr.

OH. I have our family/home management binder all set up. I started using it yesterday ... heehee ... love it. I especially love the weekly menu planning because it makes grocery shopping so easy. Things like organization, routine, time management, etc. may sound really boring but they make life easier which in turn makes life more FUN!!!! Or maybe I have a skewed sense of what fun is?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Now I've been happy lately ...

EDIT: My appointment was such an encouragement. I'll fill in the details later bc I'm too sleepy right now, but Dr. FavoriteDr said that besides the bright spot on the baby's heart everything else looks absolutely perfect. This doesn't rule out DS, but it was SO comforting to hear that all limbs and organs are developing well. She spent a long time with me discussing concerns and options to make this c section as natural and peaceful as possible. :) Good night!


Third day without wheat and I feel GREAT!!!! Maybe it's all in my head, but I'll take the placebo effect if that's what it is.

I started my day with a good workout and some Cat Stevens (aka Yusuf Islam). Just really can't go wrong with some early morning Peace Train by the lake.

I have an OB appointment this morning. I hope all is well. I'll update this evening.

And my word, it's sooo nice to have the windows open!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 6, 2012

old habits die hard

I have tried just about everything to get more sleep ... the most luck I've had is with some homeopathic stuff. (when in doubt, go with homeopathy. no side effects, safe for all ages, time-tested and proven) Although I'm seeing improvement, I think I need to do more.

DUN.Dun.dun. You may remember the testing I had done last Winter that revealed my body's love-hate relationship with wheat. Since then I have cut back, but it has slowly crept back in almost full force ('merica loves wheat). One of the many side effects of a wheat sensitivity is insomnia. Pair that with pregnancy and I'm pretty much awake all night and sleepy all day. Sounds pleasant, no?

Should I just take the plunge and go wheat-free or should I keep horsin' around and continue feeling like death? See? It's a really tough decision .... don't eat wheat and feel great or eat wheat and feel like poop. Do you see my dilemma?

Yeah, me neither. It's really a no-brainer.



Here is an update from a little guy Nate and I have been praying for .... The last few lines at end really got to me this morning ... Hug your children and kiss their sweet faces - pray you are never faced with these kinds of obstacles.

Sure does put things in to perspective and makes the daily struggles of parenthood seem that much more manageable. A blessing even.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Catching up ... bullets

  • I have killed five outdoor, hanging flowers so far this summer. FIVE. No more. No more hanging flowers.
  • This is the first pregnancy in which I'm feeling Braxton Hicks ... the only pregnancy that my uterus doesn't need the practice. Oh, uterus.
  • We left at 10 a.m. on Sunday morning for Nate's Grandma's 80th bday party and arrived there shortly after 2. Mazie vommed at dinner and Freya was crazy-hyper from the car ride. Nate and I barely ate or were able to talk to family and we were tucked away in the back corner without an easy escape route. It was an experience (I believe Nate described it as a "nightmare"). It meant a lot to Grandma for us to be there and that's what mattered. :)
  • We had our first family vacation after Grandma's party (since we were close to Chicago anyway). It was a blast (Mazie felt like a new woman after throwing up, btw) and I highly recommend Chicago Children's Museum at Navy Pier. There is so much to do there.
  • I wanted to go to a sit down restaurant with AC but nate said it would be better to just grab something fast and eat in the (sweaty, poo-smelly) food court. So we did. And I pouted. But he was right .... the girls would not have lasted long at a restaurant bc they were tuckered out.
  • Since we're not big fans of pushing the limits with our children when it comes to naps, eating, etc. we decided to not even go to all of the activities at the museum. We wanted things to end on an awesomely pleasant note ... not on a whiny-exhausted-starving-miserable note. We could have easily spent 5-6 hours there, but 2.5 was the perfect amount of time.
  • My parents got me an adapter for my iPad so I can upload my pics directly. (early birthday present) This means that I'll be posting more pics again soon. And the crowd goes wild.
  • Mazie fell off the pool ladder at my parents' house. Thought I was going to have a heart attack. Thankfully she only ended up with bruised knees and other various scrapes. She is really playing this up, let me tell ya. She makes sure that everyone knows about it and constantly reminds me to be careful near her band aids. The drama. Must get it from Nate.
  • I'm working on a family/household binder. This website has some good printables that I'm going to use. It will really help keep us organized and help me to live in the moment more. It's a good habit to get into .. so that everyone in the family knows what's happening when. Mazie is a sensitive girl and she likes routine and knowing what's going on. Her first questions in the morning are, "Can I wear my Christmas dress?" followed by, "What are we doing today?" Plus, the daily routine page will keep us on track with things like the library reading program, pseudo-homeschooling and such. Ooh, my inner nerd is giddy.

  • We have been talking about buying a portable dishwasher for some time and I think that time is now. I'm going to put all of my birthday money towards it. Girl don't need no flowers or bling. Girls needs a dishwashahhhh.
  • And can I just say .... yes, I can. it's my blog .... that I'm very thankful to be married to a man that takes money management seriously. I don't even know how we're surviving right now. I really don't. God just continues to provide for us in huge ways. I mean, we just took a family vaca! So, it was only for one day ... but still.
  • So, we're really poor but really happy. Happy is where it's at.