Sometimes I look at those blonde curls and shake my head in disbelief. Me? With a curly, blonde headed girl? Just like her dad's hair ... back in the day. These pigtails paired with my flowery hair clip, she's so cute I can barely stand it at times. Today she sang her heart out at Musikgarten ... off-key and proud. The singing doesn't always come easy though as the shyness sometimes prevails. My little protege. Sometimes loud and confident while swallowing in the entire world. Other times reserved and aloof while intently observing her surroundings. How she fits in. How she will be regarded. How safe opening up will be.
When 'Away in a Manger' began, she pretended to rock a baby as instructed and then she belted the song out with familiarity. As soon as she received attention for her efforts she quickly drew back in her shell. A faint smile. A mysterious retraction of extroverted song. She is ever-changing right in front of me.
Tonight we read through the first chapter of 'The Jesus Storybook Bible'. A beautifully written account of God. It reads like a modern love story. Mazie was enthralled and I was grateful for the simple, yet emotionally charged style. I love this book and am thinking about giving to a few people for Christmas. It's that good.
My days have been so much nicer lately. A growing confidence and a settling into myself. A few other ladies and I are in a FB group. We encourage one another to get off the ol' rear and get it moving. The leader is a longtime friend of mine whom is now a Beachbody Coach. She's on P90X2 now. It came after Power90, after Power half hour, after P90X, after P90 one-on one. SO, yeah ... she kicks it hard. Beginning my days with this renewed self-discipline is rewarding and necessary. 'Spirituality can be found in self-discipline' -R.Peugh
I sit here tonight. Christmas tree lights sparkle off the windows. Jammies and slippers cover a multitude of years and chilly toes. The dog quietly snores as the giggly, bedtime noises of my children filter into the living room. Nate will be here soon. I will read aloud the first chapter of my new book, just as I did with Mazie a few hours ago. And I will rest in the comfort of this evening after a long day of seeking Him throughout laundry, dishes, diapers and such. Throughout beautiful hearts that I can call my own.