We took our tree down today. It was dead and pitiful. Plus, we're leaving for the farm on Monday and won't be back until after Christmas ... so a dead tree left for us to take care later? No, thanks.

I know it's sad, but in true Scrooge-like fashion I was kind of relieved that Nate agreed to take it down early. It felt so cluttered and chaotic in our tiny living room.

I'm on day 11 of Power 90. I can already do pushups, jumping jacks and run lunges so much easier than when I first started. During my meeting with Ann I mentioned that I have no qualms about the holidays and the bombardment of junk foods. I'm planing on continuing my workouts at the farm and staying on this mindful path.

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There are many different swirls of emotions I feel. Reservations. Fitting in, even if just my heart. Breaking myself for healing. Loving, loving, loving without fear. Defenses gone and tranquility overpowering ... It is in this softness I can rest. Diverting the attention from my own insecurity and focusing on the hurt that surrounds me. Earthy. Accepting. Gentle. Slow. Protecting my heart while handing out an invitation to come in. 

This is the key. It unlocks the chains of selfish trembling.