Slowing Down, Part Two

I've done a lot of weeding out over the past year or so. I deactivated my Facebook, I don't Tweet, I don't have a smartphone (in fact my phone is really, really stupid), I decided to not return to school yet, I cut back on my hours at work, I started buying household essentials from Amazon (free 2-day shipping) so I would have one less errand to run. I started waking up at the crack of dawn so I could get the little things out of the way in order to be ready, really ready to give my full attention. I stopped texting all the time, I stopped creating a massive to-do list ... because these little faces are changing at a rapid pace and if I blink my eyes I will have missed this time that travels at the speed of light


Sometimes the sacrifice feels so great and I worry about losing myself in a world of stuffed animals and coloring books. Sometimes I miss my old way of life. Sometimes I just want to be able to go and do as I please. So I stomp my feet and I feel slighted! and forgotten! and sorry for myself! And then I ask myself if I can even consider these things a sacrifice because ...

For me, all other ambitions outside of truly knowing my children pale in comparison. This time is so sweet, so short.

There will be a day for my own way of life and pursuing more education and a career, but for now I am figuring out how to be still ... staring into the hearts of my children ... and my husband, learning to savor every moment. And I fail and I fail and I fail but I keep trying. Every day.

"Because here’s the truth, the cold hard truth: the ability to really know our children is in jeopardy. Knowing our children has earned a spot on the In Danger of Extinction List.

Here is why…

In the jam packed, over-scheduled, constantly beeping, buzzing, media saturated, technology obsessed, stressed out, warp speed rat race that we call life, something is getting lost.

Personal connection is getting lost.

Human touch is getting lost.

Private conversation is getting lost.

And we, as adults, must take responsibility for the major part we play in the current deficiency in knowing, really knowing, our children."

- Rachel Macy Stafford