About Me

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I'm a work in progress. I'm a mom to two, soon to be three, awesome kids that have taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. I'm married to a kind and handsome man that I genuinely love to be with. I like to be around interesting people and enjoy learning from others. I'm quirky, energetic, have a glass that's usually half full (of wine) and am spontaneous when it fits into my plans. My life is much slower than it once was and even though I sometimes miss the old days, I never take these new days for granted. So, I've given up alot of things in order to give more of myself to my family ... and they better appreciate it. I mean, I expect nothing in return for my selfless love.

Monday, September 24, 2012

What a Sunday ... into Monday

Saturday night Freya fell asleep standing up in her crib so I suspected that maybe her ears were bothering her. I took her to MedStat on Sunday morning and her ears are fine. I was sort of hoping that would explain the sleeping probs. My Dad told me what the problem was ... "because she's a toddler. That's the problem right there". So true.

Before I left for church I was spotting but not much and the baby was moving so I decided that I would wait it out for a bit. After Freya and I got to church (Nate and Mazie walked there) I was spotting even more. So, I headed out to the ER while Nate stayed at church with the girls. They determined that the spotting was coming from the internal cyst, which is what I suspected. The baby (and my cervix) are fine! I was able to lounge on the hospital bed and watch cable tv for a bit while I was there so it was kind of like vacation.

Sunday night Freya fell right asleep and then woke right back up around 2:30. I went in and held her for a minute but she would NOT lay back down without crying. I didn't want her to wake up the girl that lives in the apartment above our house or Mazie so my choices were:
1 - Hold her in the rocker all night. Really don't want to make that a habit because pretty soon I'm going to be down with about 14 stitches and a newborn.
2 - Sleep with her in the recliner. Not feasible as noted in Option 1.
3 - Put her in bed with us. Again, not feasible.
4 - Cry alot and wonder what I'm supposed to be learning through all of this and if I'm the only one that has ever gone through it and rack my brain as to why my baby is so sad and what I'm not doing right and how can I fix it and then cry some more.
5 - Sleep on the nursery floor until she falls asleep

I chose Option 4 around 3:30 and Option 5 around 5:30.

Yep. I slept on the nursery floor. Eight months pregnant. Because sometimes desperation yields way to desperate decisions.

Nate offered to, but he can't afford to go to a job like his sleep deprived. It was a very generous offer though and I'm glad I'm married to someone that looks out for me!! (And I'm really looking forward to that nightly back rub because my ol' preggo back is so sore!)

My mom and I ran errands this morning and I just went about my day as though I hadn't spent half the night feeling helpless, sobbing like an idiot and snoozing on the floor. My mom also came over and helped me reorganize the pantry and kitchen ... it felt good to get that out of the way. I really appreciate my mom helping me so much. Today would have been lonely and difficult if she hadn't been around to help.

Today/tonight has been better. Nate and I prayed over the girls and the nursery, I enlisted the help of Calms Forte for Kids and asked several different people to pray for us.

I'm tired.
And I love my children so, so much despite all of the sleep they rob from me.


Luniquely Maggie said...

Oh girl! I hope that you will get some sleep soon. Especially with the baby coming!! Have you guys ever read Baby Wise or any of those books? I read them and loved it. But there are some that don't like it. I just gave one to a friend and she loved and her baby is sleeping through the night. If you get a chance, check it out on Amazon. They have it for Toddlers and older as well. It might give you some ideas for peace at night that you need.

Susan said...

I read Baby Wise (remember? I call it the "don't love on your baby too much" book)
I do agree with many of the ideas in the book and I do a loose version of it. Unfortunately, I was a Baby Wise nazi when Mazie was born and it did more damage than good and contributed to my PPD.
I agree with routines, consistency, etc. It's in my nature. :)

Luniquely Maggie said...

ah okay! yeah, with josiah it worked great. with elee i I should've NOT read it again... I took it too literal. when he needed me to pick him up and i didn't etc. so it was bad. i read it with a grain of salt after the second time and it did good re-reading it for feeding times for pace and luna....i love the idea of parent directed feedings and sleeping. i get bummed when i realize that elee really needed more loving as a baby.....and guess what his 'love language' is? physical touch. go figure. lol. what's ppd?

Susan said...

Yeah, it was NOT good for Mazie, but fine for Freya. PPD is post-partum depression.
I love you. thanks for the encouragement!!!!